MONTH THREE | SESSION ONE
TRANSFORMING YOUR VALUES
When we think of core values, we often think of long HR meetings, going over a massive binder of irrelevant company information. Almost every company or school has a set of written core values, but how aware are you of those values? They might be written down somewhere or posted proudly on a wall, but do they make a difference?
Every person also has their own set of core values. Yours might not be as well-defined as your workplace, but they are alive and well. In fact, much like your worldview or paradigm, these core values inform how you make decisions, spend your resources and even the future that you are actively creating. In just a minute, we will start examining what those core values are, but know that they are there.
What you value is usually determined by many factors: your past, your personality, your likes and dislikes, your skills and abilities. You may not always be aware of your core values, as they often operate in the background, always informing you of what matters most in life. Because of this, there are two things we must engage if we are to live a life that is filled with integrity:
Identify what our current core values are
Determine if those core values are serving our soul
Have you ever worked for a company or been a part of a community that says they value something, but clearly don’t based on their actions? In life, there are those things we say we value, and then there are the things we actually value, based on how we live our lives. I can say all day that I value a healthy lifestyle, but if my actions don’t demonstrate that, it is clearly not a value.
Once I identify what my actual values are, based on my life choices and behaviors, I can then determine if those are serving me well. This can be a painful process, as it requires us to do that hard work of looking at our inconsistencies - those places where what we say and what we do are out of alignment.
The beautiful thing about seeing those inconsistencies is that it gives us a chance to shift towards the life we were called to live. Let’s spend some time looking at your life, and what you value most. You will need your calendar, your bank account and a list of the five most important people in your life.
READ MATTHEW 6:21
If you want to know where your heart is (what you value the most), simply take a look at where your treasure lies. Let’s spend some time looking at your treasure.
YOUR TIME
Look at your calendar or how you have spent your time over the past month or two. As you look at it, write down where you see yourself investing large amounts of time. This might also include time on your phone, social media, television, etc. Write down what value that might represent to you.
YOUR MONEY
Look at your bank statement or how you have spent your money over the past month or two. As you look at it, write down where you see yourself investing large amounts of money. Then, write down what value that might represent to you.
YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Write the names of the five most important people in your life. Consider the current status of those relationships. What do you notice you value the most, based on how you interact with them, not just what you say you value about them. For example, you might notice that you haven’t shown appreciation recently or that you have been protecting a piece of your heart from them. Write down what you value based on how things are, not just how you would like them to be.
REFLECTION
As you look at what you currently value in your time, money and relationships, what patterns do you see?
Which of these values would you say reflect who you want to be and the life you want to live?
Which of these values would you say need to be removed or changed?
PRAYER
First spend some time in prayer repenting from anything that you have valued that doesn’t fit in God’s plan for your life. This is not to shame you, but an opportunity to turn from anything that you have elevated above Him. Second, spend some time asking Him to give you the power and insight to start implementing a new value system in your life. Let Him know some of the new values that you are committed to adding to your life.
DISCUSSION STARTERS
What surprised you as you made your lists from your calendar, finances and relationships? What was your greatest takeaway from that.
What have been the results of some of the things that you have been valuing? Perhaps you have noticed exhaustion, anxiety or low self-worth because of those values.
When in your life did you pick up some of these core values? Were they modeled by parents? Were they taken on as a result of loss or trauma? Were they added on from a mentor or community?